1. |
There's Death Here
07:40
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2. |
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I believe I can see the future
'Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again, that might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around, oh no
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
(Sometimes)
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
Oh, but I can tell you exactly how it will end
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
I'm writing on a little screen
And scheduling it for 6am
By the time they read it
It will be past my time
I am still inside her
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could've been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same (every day is the same)
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3. |
More Than A Moment
03:15
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You're the smoke in my lungs
Breathe you out but you come right back.
You're the colour to my day
Then tell me why I wanna leave again
You are red and I am blue.
And when I drink to get away, I will still find you.
You're in my head like a perfect view
When it's us against each other, it is nothing new.
We just wanna go to bed, but we're afraid to sleep because if we do not talk you mean nothing to me,
please tell me,
tell me, oh please
tell me why..
please tell me,
tell me, oh please
tell me why.
why are things so complicated now
all of a sudden
you were so nice for a second
for half of a moment
why are things so complicated now
Wish that it wasn't
I always knew it would last us for more than a moment.
Only time will tell the truth so tell me,
Why are we still lying
saying everything is cool just because we're smiling
oh we’ve made a fool out of ourselves
But I'd still follow you straight down to hell
I will still find you.
why are things so complicated now
all of a sudden
you were so nice for a second
for half of a moment
why are things so complicated now
Wish that it wasn't
I always knew it would last us for more than a moment.
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4. |
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5. |
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Garbage In
Garbage Out
Garbage In
Garbage Out
Garbage In
Garbage Out
She Took Me Out
Devastated!
Revelated!
Evicerated!
Eliminated!
Panicking
Crying
My favorite thing is dying
While it lies beside me
While it lies beside me!
Garbage In
Garbage Out
Garbage In
Garbage Out
Garbage In
Garbage Out
She Took Me Out
Who will survive?
This severence
It won't likely be me
The pain is magnified
Devoid of ways to cope
Devastated
Devastated!
Isolated!
Detonated!
Mutilated!
Unwraveling
Dying
My favorite thing is crying
While it tries to save themselves
While it tries to save themselves
Garbage In
Garbage Out
Garbage In
Garbage Out
Garbage In
Garbage Out
She Took Me Out
Garbage In
Garbage Out
Garbage In
Garbage Out
Garbage In
Garbage Out
She Took Me Out
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6. |
Formulation (Day 2)
02:14
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7. |
Farewell (Night 2)
02:18
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I’m not scared
I’ll do it right
It won’t take long
I’m done tonight
Ready to go
I’m a waste
I have lost
What a disgrace
My crown jewel
Is falling out
Inevitable
There’s no doubt
I’m so tired
Of fighting
To my dreams
I’m unabiding
A lost cause
This struggle
Every day
I crumble
I’m sorry
Everyone
You’ll be okay
You’ll move beyond
I could have improved
In every way
It ate at me
Every day
This is my
Potential
This is my
Potential
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8. |
Gloomy Sunday
01:59
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9. |
Temporary (Night 31 mix)
04:52
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Verse 1
I'm ready to go
There was so much potential
But over and over it fades away
I'm sorry to everyone
But I just couldn't beat it
And I'm just so tired all the time
Shame and sadness
This tightness in my chest
I can't even drink it away anymore
Bridge
There's no catharsis
I'm just catatonic
Lately the only hope
Comes from these deadly thoughts
Chorus
I could've had the world, and I did
But there wasn't enough
There would never be enough
Focused!
For awhile
Driven!
For awhile
Disciplined!
For awhile
Approaching failure!
Always
Verse 2
When I feel the pressure
I just put my focus elsewhere
When I feel the pressure
It's going fucking nowhere
I erupt from sleep
I thrash and scream
The only release I have are these dreams
And this pain has haunted me all this time
All along
Now I can't breathe a word
It's fine, because they're all absurd
I erupt from sleep
I thrash and scream
The only release I have are these dreams
Bridge
There's no catharsis
I'm just catatonic
Lately the only hope
Comes from these deadly thoughts
Chorus
I could've had the world, and I did
But there wasn't enough
There would never be enough
Focused!
For awhile
Driven!
For awhile
Disciplined!
For awhile
Approaching failure!
Always
Verse 3
I miss who I was but I always hated myself
There's no meaning
There's no meaning
There's no purpose, there's no reason, there's no fight
There's no way that I'm making it out alive
Making it out alive
Your pain and my pain are just temporary
Your pain and my pain are just temporary
I'm bleeding out again
I'm bleeding out again
I'm sorry to everyone
I'm sorry for what I've done
I'm sorry for giving up
But it's all too much
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10. |
Goodbye (Night 31)
03:52
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This is it
This if finally the night
I perform!
I emote!
Smoking cigarettes!
The way it has to be
All these antidepressants
Won’t take care of me
The only thing I don’t regret
Chopping down this fig tree
Lights and music set
Stuff for my stomach
Pills are all set
Keep calm, my stomach
The rope is all set
Stuff for my stomach
Booze is all set
Keep calm, my stomach
I wish I had just bought a gun
But this rope will get the job done
Sorry, kid, you were a sweet boy
Set up just to be destroyed
You had such pressure for greatness
Only to become just faceless
The burden never got better
So this is my dead letter
I failed
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11. |
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12. |
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It hurts so fucking bad!
Excruciating!
The pain in my chest is so real
Holding back tears
I’m sorry to that kid who
Was so bright
But I’ve failed miserably and
Now I’m too far gone
Please play "First Day of My Life" at my service
Do not mourn long, I am not worth it
I wish had the words to
Convey this visceral pain
It’s torturous, it’s physical
It’s so fucking physical
I’m sorry mom and dad
You both deserved so much more
I think tonight is going
To get bloody!
Please play "First Day of My Life" at my service
Do not mourn long, I am not worth it
Please play "First Day of My Life" at my service
Do not mourn long, I am not worth it
Contact list is taped up
It’s getting dark
This has to be the night
By rope or by train
The drunker I get the more
At peace I feel
I know how this book ends
I can’t keep putting it off
Now it’s 8:07am
I overdid it
I need a switch to turn it off
Like a trigger
I can’t do it
I just want to fucking die
Please play "First Day of My Life" at my service
Do not mourn long, I am not worth it
Please play "First Day of My Life" at my service
Do not mourn long, I am not worth it
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13. |
First Day of My Life
02:57
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The Trying Cincinnati, Ohio
The Trying is a solo music project from Chris Kaetzel. I blend sounds from a wide array of genres and influences to create a unique sound to encapsulate a myriad of emotions and topics. My lyrics are always genuine, no matter the content, and that is a major driving force behind The Trying. ... more
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