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Archaic Dialect; Static Romantic

by The Trying

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1.
Wasting Impressions 03:17
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Upon the moon, I am nothing Upon nothing I am the moon Upon life, I am trying Upon the net, I can fall right through To not understand rejection when I’m not to care But that’s what happens when the value of impressions, you bare Scratch the scabs from the back of my throat It’ll be fine, they were just hope Let that useless blood flow into my stomach It’ll be fine, I’ve gotten used to being sick Sandcastles They’re filth They fall Dissolve Fickle with the ocean tide Little army men They march They torch They beat They kill They win Scary ghost stories Nightmares Enticing I want more I love them Porcelain clown dolls They laugh They scream They scare They break And cut me Suffocate as I pull my world down With my mouth, I make this sound With this negligence, I drown With my wire, I am bound Fall down as I take it at one time With my silence, I am a mime With this shit, I play in grime With laziness, I’ve never had a prime So back and forth Falling worth So much potential Trapped in the fatal Look at the mass of this plight I wish I could go to the moon The severity would just become so light But I guess I would too Wasting Impressions On you Wasting Impressions On you Wasting Impressions On you Wasting Impressions On you From free market to fascist I look in between I can’t see anything Suitable for me I’m not too worried One of these keys That I sing flat of Will one day be me I’m choking as I let myself lose Meaningless I rarely choose Inspiration/motivation are always confused Time and potential, I love to abuse
2.
This Ain't Your Daddy's House (for Joyce Carol Oates) 04:37
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A friendly devil – like death. Aged, masked, deceptive: hell. “Come here, little girl.” Little; like you are – not like I want you to think you are. Pile of automechanical metal reflecting sin; waiting for innocence Such a darling hymen to be destroyed by our terror Wincing Two lips bit One not to scream One not to scream Girl, this is what you are Slut, you bare the scar (of me) You’re the meat For me to eat Ouija dances – fumbling zippers. Playful, whimsy, virgin: stumble “Little girl, this is what you wanted!” – “No it’s not, I swear!” Pile of cultural-mechanical poison contaminating the soul water An emotional aero-sault can – this is purezone depletion Flinching Two breasts grabbed One out of instinct One out of instinct You thought it was innocent Didn’t realize you were delicate (naïve) You’ll never deserve this part It’s just a part of who you are You set out the bait It’s as swallowed As you will be A gunshot for a white lie Ululate for injustice Oh how I feel it too Oh how I will destroy you A gunshot for a black tie I am the gentlemen by which you will die This is the formality Excusing morality This is the industry Like infant mortality This is the moon Is the sky Is the sun Is the fabric of minds Fabric of minds in which need to unwind Fabric of time in which seems to bind I don’t have to wait Your abundance is great You’re everywhere I don’t have to wait for you I’ll ruin you either way I have the power to Whatever you want to do Long sleeves for a razor I am the world in which you must survive This is the anarchy Of plastic sexuality And so theatrically I’ll display it publically But just a few care And even fewer cry While you just die Between your thighs and eyes Value placed on what a mirror can supply Plexiglas in which reflects our lies This is who you are This is who we are You’ll never deserve this part But yours is a discarded heart
3.
Infinite Infant 04:59
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Verse 1 Way back a million years ago The palm trees were flooded, I know But in terror, we hugged and laughed Through these trials, we were attached Now what do we have? Distance, the internet, and it bad Now when do I break? I’m too busy not to be fake Chorus I’m just an infant in a blue collar I’m just an infant who acts smarter I’m just an infant losing the battle I’m just an infant lost to the chattle I’m just infinite infant Verse 2 I stare straight into the sun As in the valley, I plunge I see faces of ghosts Of those who always meant the most Now what do I want? So much of what I’ve got Now why is that not enough? It’s never enough Chorus Verse 3 I don’t want to settle but I don’t know what’s better than this (In a blue collar) But I just can’t help thinking that something is missing (Who acts smarter) Nothing I’m doing seems to be taking me where I want to go (Losing the battle) Help me, I can’t breath, I’m drowning slowly (Lost to the chattle) I’m just infinite infant
4.
An Excuse To Be Weak 06:06
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I will cut my smile away I paste what doesn't fit to make me feel better Because it looks like it might... But the picture together Whole and where everything may need to be Feels unusually cold to me My infantile life support still is And I can't help but shine it But I feel like the autumn leaf Waiting to fall I find myself down, dark Filth I play in I love I slip to sadness.... And I will soar Soar within ruins free I will see everything I never cleaned up I will see what constrains me And I will soar Soar within ruins free I will see everything I never cleaned up I will see what constrains me I will cut my smile away I paste what doesn't fit to make me feel better Because it looks like it might... And I will fuck this taboo sore I create Just pile upon another mask I wish I could start from the beginning But know what I do now I'm laying next to the torn metal, torn We thought I was going to get up I'm laying next to the torn metal, torn We picked the glass from my face I'm laying next to the torn metal, torn We could've sworn we saw me walking I'm laying next to the torn metal, torn I'm laying torn And I will soar Soar within ruins free I will see everything I never cleaned up I will see what constrains me And I will soar Soar within ruins free I will see everything I never cleaned up I will see what constrains me Wallow and Wallow and Drown and I'll Wallow and Fuck me For trying to do so Seething and Seething and Seeing me Seething with Everything I never fixed You can't plant a tree on dead soil But we'll try to anyway You can't plant a tree on dead soil But it's the only soil we have You can't plant a tree on dead soil We could've sworn we saw it growing We did..... And I will soar Soar within ruins free I will see everything I never cleaned up I will see what constrains me I am as hopeless as the blindfold in which I tie myself. I am as hopeless as the blindfold in which I tie I am as hopeless as I I am not as hopeless as I feel I am not as hopeless as these perceptions I force myself to feel I am not as hopeless as these perceptions I force myself to feel because I need an excuse to be weak
5.
The Death of Me 04:43
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So much pain when the hearts burn unevenly So much burn when the pain aches exceedingly So much heart break when one heart stops beating So much good for you what will be The death of me I see this is good for you The shredding that you’ve done to my lungs I see this is good for you The pain that I just want to be done I see this is good for you My urge to die by the hands of anyone I see this is good for you My necessity of distractions So I can’t sleep without ingesting what may be the death of me And I can’t eat except what may be the death of me And I just keep thinking about how I could be the death of me These fucking circumstances will be the death of me So much pain when the hearts burn unevenly So much burn when the pain aches exceedingly So much heart break when one heart stops beating So much good for you what will be I see this is good for you As your new life destroys mine I see this is good for you As my face is stapled to a frown I see this is good for you How it takes all I have to live through the day I see this is good for you My agony was holding you down And I will teach you to not leave me when I need you the most Even if I am the one who threw you away And I will teach you to not make promises that you won’t keep Even if they’re the same promises that have made me weep And I will teach you to not believe that you won’t feel guilt for me Even if I am the one who will die in the hopes of making you cry And I will teach me not to live your life Even if I am the one whose must be discarded So I can’t sleep without ingesting what may be the death of me And I can’t eat except what may be the death of me And I just keep thinking about how I could be the death of me These fucking circumstances will be the death of me So much pain when the hearts burn unevenly So much burn when the pain aches exceedingly So much heart break when one heart stops beating So much good for you what will be The death of me So much pain when the hearts burn unevenly So much burn when the pain aches exceedingly So much heart break when one heart stops beating So much good for you what will be The death of me So much pain when the hearts burn unevenly So much burn when the pain aches exceedingly So much heart break when one heart stops beating So much good for you what will be The death of me
6.
You're Not the Only One 03:14
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You are cold, you are numb, and it feels like no one understands No one could have ever felt anything this deep before The weight is getting too heavy and you feel like you are done No one could have ever felt anything this deep before The sticks, the stones, your teeth marks. They all grow. They all flow. And you look around and you know no one knows The stage grows lonely as the cast has left and the lights are all off No one could have ever felt anything this deep before All your reason all your proof, all you convince yourself that is real None of it is made up and no one understands Reality is reality, what you feel all must be necessary None of it is made up and no one understands Any emptiness you feel, it is never your fault You are not the one in control of yourself Did you ever think that you could be the one who ruined the salvageable play? And most of it is made up and you don’t understand?
7.
Another Lost Father 04:42
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He appeared so quickly I was comfortable He made sure that I was Because he cared for me He made my mother so happy And because of that He made me happy We were all happy And then he got sick He just got so sick And all of us did too But we were all happy Both of us had our problems The chemo fucked with him And my anger fucked with me I wished he would die And when I saw him taking pills When he thought no one was looking It flared me up greater than anything How could he do that to her? I watched you melt into that chair The ambulance came and took you away Was the overdose worth it? How good did that oxycontin feel? You went into the hospital For the last time on my birthday And that was the last time you'd be out You'd never grace our home again Mom would tell me things About how you were getting worse You were always getting worse I never thought much of it Then that morning I got a call He was taken to the ICU And that's where you stayed And that's where we stayed And it wasn't until I was with you Alone, beside your death bed Holding your hand and crying That you were my father So again, I lost my father That was it, I was done I'm never loving again I'm never fucking loving again
8.
Always 04:42
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It always come down to this fire I always break down to be the liar These promises always go haywire Butterflies always fill the entire Why do I always push those away? Those who I make promise to always stay? I always get closest to the pain With relating to myself, I am insane I cannot move without feeling the rush of anticipation, endorphins swallow me whole Always torn All is burned (all is burned) Always gone All is harmed (all is harmed) Always torn All is burned (all is burned) Always gone All is harmed w(all is harmed) Always Always... I always work so hard on these bridges Then wish I could just rip them out like stitches I always just want to save something And when it gets too hard, I want to do nothing How can I always be so naive? I see myself in them and I just want to believe I always forget how hard I fell down And people, unlike me, they stayed around I cannot move without feeling the sting of hypocrisy as I know that I am wrong Always torn All is burned (all is burned) Always gone All is harmed (all is harmed) Always torn All is burned (all is burned) Always gone All is harmed (all is harmed) Always fond All is wrong (all is wrong) Always sweet All is weak (all is weak) Always smiles All's defiled (all’s defiled) Always love All is nothing All is nothing All is nothing... I repeat this over and over I will make you my woeful lover And shower you with words of comfort I think I'm removing all the dirt Then it blows up in your face And then I change my entire pace I'll go from taking the pain away To running and adding more pain to stay I cannot move without feeling the rush of anticipation, endorphins swallow me whole Always torn All is burned (all is burned) Always gone All is harmed (all is harmed) Always torn All is burned (all is burned) Always gone All is harmed (all is harmed) Always fond All is wrong (all is wrong) Always sweet All is weak (all is weak) Always smiles All's defiled (all’s defiled) Always love All is nothing Always... All is nothing
9.
Invented Dreams 05:01
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Verse 1 Further down here Like we’ve never seen before Erasing legends and lore Searching for something more Strip your façade A beautiful decay A mirage of yesterday It was never that way Stars on a screen Accompanied with violins And pianos, candlelit The bliss of a romantic Rain falls on their faces As they scream toward the sky The lighting placed just right This becomes real life Chorus Fill you up with enchanted ideas Memories tied with nothing that happened Heartbeats bleeding and reflect schisms Market invented dreams Verse 2 Carry her in your arms Reinforce what you’ve been taught And spew out all those thoughts About who you ought to be An American dream Television protects you An American dream What else can you do? Verse 3 Where do you go from here? When nothing is clear When everything just seems so real Chorus Fill you up with enchanted ideas Memories tied with nothing that happened Heartbeats bleeding and reflect schisms Market invented dreams
10.
Dotted Line 06:25
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Hungry, hungry Dizzy, dizzy This excess flesh It hangs within me Dirty, dirty Heavy, heavy I’ll infect it be- fore it infects me Churning, churning Screaming, screaming I will event- ually feed me Waiting, waiting Hating, hating Until then I’ll teach me a lesson Hungry, hungry Worried, worried Guilty, guilty Awful, awful Dizzy, dizzy Enjoy, enjoy No more, no more Awful, awful There’s no cutting Tearing Bleeding Instead there’s nothing Starving Stopping Hardly for image Reflection Unsatisfaction But for hatred Fraction Lacking… Hungry, hungry Worried, worried Guilty, guilty Awful, awful Dizzy, dizzy Enjoy, enjoy No more, no more Awful, awful Mirror, mirror on the wall I am about to fall I can see my snow demon Not enough time to cover it Mirror, mirror, should I save face? There has never been a place There has never been a time I just always let it shine Mirror, mirror I pity me Should I not let them see? I am fading, I am falling And so soon, I’ll be crawling This punishment takes so long I want to speed to it up Cutting along the dotted line I am a dotted line I don’t even have a prime I am just a dotted line I keep looking but cannot find How to make me a solid line That way this world would fold me Before I continue with the cutting And the spit would weaken me Damp and so easy for ripping Perhaps the line is irrelevant But the material in which it represents Because I know it’s the disgust And not the stomach The only thing in which I can’t destroy Is that inner little boy The one who used to have a dad The one who was never sad The one who died at age four The one who wished he wasn’t born The one in which lost everyone The one in which I often shun I am just a dotted line Confined to paper, on which I draw But like all other pieces I will be wadded and disposed Unless I frame me for all to see And stand the test of history I am just a dotted line I hope in the future, you all will find Hungry, hungry Worried, worried Guilty, guilty Awful, awful Dizzy, dizzy Enjoy, enjoy No more, no more Awful, awful As I keep myself hollow The more and more this pain grows Shingle shackled to my skin I’ll just do it again and again Full of hunger and full of pain With no will to make it go away Full of apathy and sadness I just want my innocence And as I’m empty more and more My face becomes more stern and firm A habit that can catch on quick I wonder if it will stick
11.
Nastusea 04:40
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Everything seems to bite back and lead me to those days so epic and real The smell of her or a million different songs seem to make me feel unhealed Seeing a bus traveling towards sadness and heartache instead of satisfying those who anticipate Every acoustic guitar and every cigarette just tear me into a mess All of the cutting All of the pain All of the wanting All of the shame All of tomorrow Becoming a shattered dream Not being strong enough To even scream I still dream about her, us being together And every time I wake in tears It’s not out of regret, but out of love Losing that which I care most about I fear Sneaking into a house every night Not going home alone out of fright Watching a relationship break in two Being a part of a group confused Driving high when I didn’t know what to do Writing a note that would’ve changed all of you Sneaking over late, just to lay with her Yet falling on a crutch that would defer All of the encryption All of the insane All the hospital visits Makes all else tame All of these feelings Not knowing where to go All the bad judgment All the overflow All of this naustagia All of these tear drops All of the memories Will never be stopped They remind me of vulnerability They remind me of heartache And how I hated me
12.
Statuette 04:32
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Break it apart on my head I like red better than green anyway And it’s there for all to see It’s not just there to drain and bleed But you can cry if it’s to me Just don’t let you scream Tear apart this waste Inhale it to breathe This wait is too long But I can keep holding on Self define your scar unto me I’m sure it’s one that you can see But it’s not for you to touch I’m getting rid of all this blood Let’s dance to this song Just like we used to In my head… Those created memories Bring pleasures like clean needles do I can see the bullets in your head Swimming violently in a sea of lead I can breathe and conceive So take this heart Rest it where it burns Tear apart this waste Inhale it to breathe But this wait is too long I can’t keep holding on Self define your scar unto me I’m sure it’s one that you can see It’s not for you to touch But I’m getting rid of all this blood
13.
Angel Lust 05:03
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I can’t bear to look you in your eyes I’m too ashamed and I’m to blame I’m reducing the frequency of fulfillment I’m adamant – my disappointment I hate the way I thought I had fixed it all Angel Lust Now my corpse is leaning against the wall Angel Lust The blood drains down into my mirage Angel Lust Looking aroused, alive. But really dust. Angel Lust I’m as gone as yesterday and I cannot see Waking up tomorrow As everything improves I just consume All of it. All this intent I hate the way I thought I had fixed it all Angel Lust Now my corpse is leaning against the wall Angel Lust The blood drains down into my mirage Angel Lust Looking aroused, alive. But really dust. Angel Lust I’ll tear off this smile In which I’ll defile I make it all worthwhile I hate being a liar I’ll mend my heart right in front you And eat all the stitches I worked so hard on And that is all I eat

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released June 24, 2011

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The Trying Cincinnati, Ohio

The Trying is a solo music project from Chris Kaetzel. I blend sounds from a wide array of genres and influences to create a unique sound to encapsulate a myriad of emotions and topics. My lyrics are always genuine, no matter the content, and that is a major driving force behind The Trying. ... more

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