We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Listening For A Heartbeat EP

by The Trying

/

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
The Fig Tree 04:50
buy track
2.
Nonphotobiotic 04:18
buy track
3.
A Letter to the Ones 04:01
lyrics
buy track
I hate you and everything you are I hate all of you I shake with rage from your mastery, ignorance, and hypocrisy Stop laughing at my issues It's not funny How do you think I feel every time I see where my life has become? I hate you I'm just bleeding for your amusement I'm just screaming, hating, getting frustrated because you are amused I despise all of you unsupportive pricks who add a brick to the wall everytime I scream It's not funny I die inside while you use my frustrations as oxygen masks I want you to die I hate all of you with a passion Tell me it's my overreaction so I rejoin the abuse The circle of myself continues One more layer to the wall, adding to my determination to break it, yet lessening the strength to do so, increasing the anger Stop your wise remarks, your analyzations, and your criticism It was never like this before I now know I hurt because I'm your whore The death of my loved ones never hurt me before The death of me, BY YOU!!!, makes me want to kill But who loves me anyway? They all did but you Now I want to forget you You were never anything but a depressant You've shattered my self-image into oblivion, shattering my confidence and self-esteem You're soul-destroying killers I hate you I'll try and leave I know I have to, to survive I have learned so much writing this I think I have found my escape I will now pay you the negligence of love you've shown me I will now pay you the negligence of love you've shown me Prepare to be invisible Prepare to be invisible Prepare to be invisible Prepare to be invisible Prepare to be invisible Prepare to be invisible Prepare to be invisible Prepare to be invisible I despise all of you unsupportive pricks who add a brick to the wall every time I scream It's not funny I die inside while you use my frustrations as oxygen masks as oxygen masks as oxygen masks as oxygen masks
4.
Guilt From Death 04:52
lyrics
buy track
--Verse 1-- Stop it with your see-through lies Clear disguise Grasp so tight And it just kills me inside Make me die Realize how much you harm heart and soul - don't you know? --Bridge 1-- I am only here so you can feel free To exorcise your demons And give them all to me And so my happiness can't see --Bridge 2-- What if I ended this disaster? What promises would it break? What if I ended this disaster? How much guilt could it make? --Chorus 1-- I don't want to write a note I don't want to sign in blood But I want to give you guilt I'm ready and willing to do so --Verse 2-- Bring it now I feel hate I'm irrate I will give it all back now Feel my rage Opened cage Vein-filled hate Death too simple You're too real I do feel --Bridge 1-- I am only here so you can feel free To exorcise your demons And give them all to me And so my happiness can't see --Chorus 1-- I don't want to write a note I don't want to sign in blood But I want to give you guilt I'm ready and willing to do so --Verse 3-- Should I bring all this to an end? Do I want to see you again? All I want is you to feel guilt All I want is you to hate you I want you to live with yourself I want all your days to be Hell I don't ever want you to rest I hope this guilt drives you to death No, 'cause that would mean you won I can't let any of you think that If I died I'd never get to See your face when you need me --Chorus 2-- I don't want to write a note I don't want to sign in blood But I want to give you guilt --Bridge 3-- What if I brought these words to life? Could you go on knowing you made me die? What if I brought these words to life? It doesn't matter I won't You're not worth it
5.
Infinite Infant (2015) 04:56
lyrics
buy track
Verse 1 Way back a million years ago The palm trees were flooded, I know But in terror, we hugged and laughed Through these trials, we were attached Now what do we have? Distance, the internet, and it bad Now when do I break? I’m too busy not to be fake Chorus I’m just an infant in a blue collar I’m just an infant who acts smarter I’m just an infant losing the battle I’m just an infant lost to the chattle I’m just infinite infant Verse 2 I stare straight into the sun As in the valley, I plunge I see faces of ghosts Of those who always meant the most Now what do I want? So much of what I’ve got Now why is that not enough? It’s never enough Chorus Verse 3 I don’t want to settle but I don’t know what’s better than this (In a blue collar) But I just can’t help thinking that something is missing (Who acts smarter) Nothing I’m doing seems to be taking me where I want to go (Losing the battle) Help me, I can’t breath, I’m drowning slowly (Lost to the chattle) I’m just infinite infant
6.
A Heartless Triumph 05:16
buy track
7.
Intoxicant 03:39
lyrics
buy track
--Verse 1-- Back together It's been awhile Let's see how tight We can wrap our problems We've always been On the same wavelength And the connection Has grown stronger --Bridge-- Was slipping so far So far under myself You picked me up You're still holding me --Chorus-- What path will you take me? I seem to trust in you I don't know what to say Will your guidance stay? --Verse 2-- You're dysfunction Will numb my pain But it's still there It doesn't go away I am so sure You are positive And that your actions Make a good friend repeat bridge repeat chorus --Verse 3-- You defend everything I do wrong I never object to the things I disagree But for right now I like this high I'll give you the honor I feel you deserve
8.
Between Us Queens 03:46
lyrics
buy track
Verse My heart aches for those drives All those days, all those nights You and I And all else so nearby Everything was so real Fun, depression, desire Our spirits An unquellable fire Bridge Who are we? Who are we? Chorus We didn't know who we were But we weren't afraid To be whoever We wanted to be To be whoever we wanted To be who we wanted Verse 2 Remember the freedom to crumble? When we were there for each others weakness? Now we just stuff it down There's just no time for it Tick tick tick drown This is it, this is it Verse 3 The fear of losing you The fear of memories and their control I've feared growing old since I was young I'm drowning in fear. Choking on my tongue.
9.
Halfway Room 03:14
lyrics
buy track
Act 1 The room closed it's eyes so we could explore Our clothes in gentle piles on the floor Our hearts beating in different times Wanting to commit beautiful crimes I can remember the thunder and lightning All around us, and from you, and from me, striking Selfishly wanting you to take me I resisted so as not to scare you away Chorus Meet me half way Let you feel that way Meet me half way Help me feel that way Verse 2 Our voyeurs aren't watching us here tonight Trying to mime out what feels right Some bodies are ready to continue this show And some others have gone as far as they'll go Were you shocked when his boundaries collapsed? Shocked by how minute was the impact Did you swallow something you're still digesting? Is it something your heart is still protecting? Verse 3 That new sense of freedom, my heroin The pursuit of sharing something genuine This hedon, this sinner, this reflection I want your love but need your affection
10.
Sunrise, Sunset (Bright Eyes cover) 04:47
lyrics
buy track
Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset. Swiftly go the days. Sunrise, sunset. You wake up, then you undress. It always is the same. The sunrise and the sunsets. You are lying while you confess, keep trying to explain. The sunrise and the sunsets You realize then you forget what you've been trying to retain. But everybody knows that it is all about the things That get stuck inside of your head, Like the songs your roommate sings Or a vision of her body as she stretches out on your bed. She raised her hands in the air, asked you, When was the last time you looked in the mirror? Cause you've changed. Yeah, you've changed. Sunrises, sunsets. You're hopeful then you regret. The circle never breaks. With a sunrise and a sunset there's a change of heart or address. Is there nothing that remains? For a sunrise or a sunset. You're manic or you're depressed. Will you ever feel ok? For a sunrise or a sunset, your lover is an actress. Did you really think she'd stay? For a sunrise or a sunset. You're either coming or you just left but you're always on the way. Towards a sunrise or a sunset, a scribble or a sonnet. They are really just the same. To the sunrise and the sunset. The master and his servant have exactly the same fate. It's a sunrise and a sunset. From a cradle to a casket. There is no way to escape. The sunrise and the sunset. Hold your sadness like a puppet, keep putting on the play. But everything you do is leading to the point Where you just won't know what to do. And at that moment you may laugh But there is someone there who will be laughing louder than you. So it's true, the trick is complete. Become everything you said you never would be. You're a fool! You're a fool! Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset. Sunrise and the sunsets. Sunrise, sunset, sunrises, sunsets. Sunrise and the sunsets. Sunrise, sunset. Go home to your apartment And put the cassette in the tape deck and let that fever play. Sunrise, sunset. Where are you Arienette? Where are you Arienette?
11.
Corpse Flower 04:19
buy track
12.
Rot 05:05
lyrics
buy track
Verse 1 I can spare no time Got too much to kill Think about why I'm Going so downhill So fixated on My yesterdays Looking for a new dawn To keep my old ways My life is a journey With so many paths Constantly guiding me Straight into its wrath I want my old pain Want to feel again But I can't abstain I don't know - I don't know how to live for today I am stuck in the past I don't know - I don't know how to live for today No hope tomorrow Nothing to look forward to - nothing to look forward to Just have another drink Nothing to look forward to - nothing to look forward to No fire left burning It's the same every day Black tomorrow Covet yesterday There's no meanwhile Just lost time There's no meanwhile Just lost time Chorus Here we go again Another failed attempt To say something of value To feel something true Verse 2 Look at you How could you Do this? You Who are you? That mirror Is getting Unbearable, isn't it? What have you done with our talents? Absolutely nothing What are you doing about it? Now you're stuck We used to be a friend - We used to be a friend Now you're fucking selfish Do you remember when that was all that mattered? Now how do you treat your loved ones? Drinking, eating, working, sleeping, just surviving Where did our future go? I can't believe that our worst fear is now here Where did our future go? It's the same every day Black tomorrow Covet yesterday There's no meanwhile Just lost time There's no meanwhile Just lost time Chorus Here we go again Another failed attempt To say something of value To feel something true Verse 3 I cannot see this heart break any more you have to lift us up from the floor Remember who you are Say your name What does it mean? It's not a game Today's the day You've gotta change your ways But every time I try it just gets snuffed There's this rot inside me stuffed deep down Growing everyday/Rot
13.
Eighteen 05:20
lyrics
buy track
Like a trapped spirit, my past haunts me When we were weak, when we were free Creeping through the window just so we Could share our lives and share our dreams These memories Will die hard My broken envy Leaves myself scarred This fixation This fire I feel This elation It's not real I loved and hated the havoc that was wreaked Hearts on our sleeves that we stole just like thieves Unlearning the rules we carved into the trees Learning who we wanted to be We were so green but nothing pristine Falling apart together until we had to restart Each moment piling up like omens But all of those hours were cherished, were ours These memories Will die hard My broken envy Leaves myself scarred This fixation This fire I feel This elation It's not real I was so relieved to get out But it hurts so bad without Whatever drove me away back then I forget, I just want to be back in
14.
The Leaving Song (AFI cover) 02:54
buy track
15.
Place of Putrefaction 03:33
lyrics
buy track
ntering a hated place I don't want to see their face So much joy comes when I leave But when I'm there, with anger I seeth I wonder what it'll be like this time It was so bad before I wonder if I will survive I started death last time --Bridge-- So many people No one I want to see Stupidity and drama There, it exists to be --Chorus-- Clear eyes make me sad sometimes Clear eyes make me feel despise As I watch I have to laugh I laugh to cover up the loss of hope --Verse 2-- I hate that there are two sections Positive and negative I have to deal with side effects Even though all of them make me sick I don't want to go back to this place My freedom ends so soon I don't want to start hating again But I have no choice in this place
16.
Torn and Tossed (2015) 05:04
lyrics
buy track
Came home, unexpectedly, to a door knob turning in my hand I heard my mother say, “she called”, and I ran My hands were shaking as I recalled how to dial a phone Here it is, here it goes, the end of being alone She said, “I was so scared before, but now I’m not anymore” And all I could muster up was, “that’s good” I guess things like this bring a loss of words I talked to her as she gathered up here things from drawers And the beeping from the open car door pierced my composure So she drove away and found a place to stay She wasn’t scared anymore So I went to the station and purchased my round-trip ticket And got on the bus talking to her with a sick feeling of spirit On the first stop, I receive a call, “they found me” I turn back around, never more let down, and all I could do was weep And with that everything surfaced that I feared Everything that she seemed to make disappear I rang out my eyes from my loss The lifetime achievement that I once held, torn away, now tossed She said, “despite everything, I hope you’ve been smiling a lot don’t worry too much We’ll always be here for each other. I love you” And it was as if my harness had loosened its’ knots I was free to begin this plunge of my law I took the letter I wrote back to you and tried to make a song But it wasn’t music and it wouldn’t allow itself to be anything but raw And now I’m so scared to be alone by myself I’m sitting here on the bed that was to be yours Inside the room, that too, was to be yours This perpetual state of emptiness creates a dangerous tension And now this story has reached a brand new peak Of optimism and self-mutilation
17.
Far Away 04:37
lyrics
buy track
I've been wanting to write this song for eight years This is for the part of me that will never move on Not from her, or her, but from me ~ That passion, that youth, that fire I feel it like a past life and I've lost my essence So long distant and then a doppleganger's attempted murder But I could tell the difference ~ And as I spoke with my kindred spirit my fervor grew I left with my brothers, despite the sincerest objection Without a real plan we made it work ~ So many friends received my constant streaming Three days passed and my tattered heart was all I had to show for it And when I returned back home, I knew I had to try again ~ Where did that part of me go? Chorus There's no heavier burden I carry than that of the Weight of the potential I used to have Forever would not color us red It all would be over soon There was your voice There was your courage ~~~ It was time again to come to you "They found me" It was time again to come home ~~~ Life had never been more surreal I just wanted to end it all Some things never change ~~~ But when I saw all of you I remembered what I hadn't lost Despite what had been torn and tossend Chorus There's no heavier burden I carry than that of the Weight of the potential I used to have Verse 3 And each day became a battle and at times I couldn't be left alone Driving alone those nights ~ Starting that fire But I had a new heart and an old heart And I fell in love in the least romantic way possible ~ Our crutches, our poisons But that night it got too heavy for me And I left when I shouldn't have And I'm sorry ~ You are the realest thing I've ever known We had to quit Everything, all of it had to pass ~ But there's nothing that I want more Than to have that summer back
18.
I'm Infected 02:54
lyrics
buy track
Verse 1 how do I fix all these things? should I just cut all these heart strings? I thought home was all I wanted But it's my past that's haunted Webs are woven inside my chest Drown me in distress My freedom confines myself In pursuit of some notion of wealth Chorus I've sacrificed the wrong things And acquired this void of feelings My world and my soul, disconnected Growing older and sicker, i'm still infected Verse 2 I've been sick, but so strong Just trying to prolong These clouds are my catalyst The death of an idealist Every day's almost an overdose Ignoring demons and ghosts While they destroy my worth While they cast my curse Verse 3 There's no more assurance That I'm going to win Diagnosis abhorrent See my soul wince There's no more assurance There's no more assurance There's no more assurance There's no way to win

credits

released January 19, 2017

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

The Trying image

The Trying Cincinnati, Ohio

The Trying is a solo music project from Chris Kaetzel. I blend sounds from a wide array of genres and influences to create a unique sound to encapsulate a myriad of emotions and topics. My lyrics are always genuine, no matter the content, and that is a major driving force behind The Trying. ... more

contact / help

Contact The Trying

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like The Trying, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Fabiana Palladino stops by to talk about her mesmeric debut LP.
listen now