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288​-​141

from Suicide Pact demo by The Trying

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lyrics

I knew a girl
Her name was Rebecca
Or Amber
I’m not sure
I knew a girl
I couldn't pick her out of a lineup
I don’t remember her voice
I don’t even remember what color hair she had
She rode home on her bike one day
After she told me she’d be right back
I hope that she is still alive
I know a woman
I remember a child
I knew a father that left one day
He has never come back
I knew a girl
Whose ghost must haunt him
Like waking up in vomit from a bad night of drinking
Except this time, he drank himself paralyzed
He drank me paralyzed
I knew friends
I knew parents who took those friends away from me
I made new friends
I knew babysitters
I knew inquiry
I knew what I had been told

I wish I had
Wish I had
Not fallen for this shit
I’m swimming in it
I’m swimming in it
I can’t get out from under this
It’s toxic

I knew a prison visiting room
I remember the dark, pseudo-wooden tables
I remember the vending machines
I remember the door I would stare at eagerly
That stood next to what I used to know as a judge’s booth
Waiting for an emerging man that I knew
After he was strip-searched

I remember knowing what I knew
I remember alcohol and a vehicle
And perhaps many repeated offences

I remember my world collapsing
I knew something that I couldn't comprehend

Something that a nine year old could never comprehend
I knew a Rebecca
Or Amber
I knew her sisters

I remember puzzle pieces coming together
Not completely
But enough to reveal a picture I still hate to look at

I hope that she is still alive

I hope she has coped better than I have

As her mouth was filled with evil
My lungs were filled with semen
Our innocence formed an egg
But the implantation has not ceased
And has been multiplying
This is cancer

I wish I had
Wish I had
Not fallen for this shit
I’m swimming in it
I’m swimming in it
I can’t get out from under this
It’s toxic
Spoken
I hope that she has survived

I don’t know her name
I hope that she knows mine
Maybe she’ll find me one day
Maybe we can help each other put the puzzle together

God, I hope that she is still alive

I wish I had
Wish I had
Not fallen for this shit
I’m swimming in it
I’m swimming in it
I can’t get out from under this
It’s toxic

credits

from Suicide Pact demo, released June 15, 2013

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The Trying Cincinnati, Ohio

The Trying is a solo music project from Chris Kaetzel. I blend sounds from a wide array of genres and influences to create a unique sound to encapsulate a myriad of emotions and topics. My lyrics are always genuine, no matter the content, and that is a major driving force behind The Trying. ... more

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