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Suicide Pact (One Of Us Has To Die)

from Suicide Pact demo by The Trying

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lyrics

You think you need me, but you don't
Rethink every thing good about me
I am an infant and you are my tantrum

There's no reason for this to continue
Don't let me pull you down to my level
I am a well and you are my last wish

If you love something let it go

Can you find a way that doesn't include me?
That way I can beg for what I already don't deserve
I am the nightmare you shouldn't chase

The wound will consume our union
Our union has consumed our choices
I am the fall pushing us to freedom

Now look at what it’s come to
The way my child failed
The way I failed my child
The way I failed you
My inaction tearing us down the way it makes itself known
The way I can’t look you in the eye
The way I have to disassociate to keep going
Pretend I’m not me, no identity is better than my own
When I return home, I want to leave
I’m making my own light to walk toward
I am only nothing where I exist

One of us has to die
One of us has to die
One of us has to die
One of us has to die
You’re witnessing the beginning of the end of a life
You’re witnessing a suicide pact tonight

You’re witnessing the beginning of the end of a life
You’re witnessing a suicide pact tonight
I know I have to die
If I ever hope to be alive

Bonded only by a desire to end it all, to stretch the idea of selfishness to as far as it will go
My demons have outgrown me, from infant to something competent
Keeping my mind full of hopes and dreams that would only ever derail me from reaching them
I can’t find the line where sympathy and accountability meet.
I’m in a dark region between where the scent of self loathing emanates off the fallen corpses of everyone I ever pretended to be or wanted to be
My only chance to make it out of this place is to crucify myself for my own sins and be resurrected to a brighter place
Until then, I continue to crawl on, knowing that I am an unsustainable process and eventually my resources, made of delusions and lethargy, will run dry, turning me into nothing but the result of involuntary muscle spasms
Either way, I won’t let that happen
So here it is, the end (center only)
Tonight, I kill the part of me that weighs me down, or the other way around
You’re witnessing the beginning of the end of a life
You’re witnessing a suicide pact tonight
One of us has to die

credits

from Suicide Pact demo, released June 15, 2013

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The Trying Cincinnati, Ohio

The Trying is a solo music project from Chris Kaetzel. I blend sounds from a wide array of genres and influences to create a unique sound to encapsulate a myriad of emotions and topics. My lyrics are always genuine, no matter the content, and that is a major driving force behind The Trying. ... more

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