Torn and Tossed (2015)

from by The Trying

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lyrics

Came home, unexpectedly, to a door knob turning in my hand
I heard my mother say, “she called”, and I ran
My hands were shaking as I recalled how to dial a phone
Here it is, here it goes, the end of being alone

She said, “I was so scared before, but now I’m not anymore”
And all I could muster up was, “that’s good”
I guess things like this bring a loss of words

I talked to her as she gathered up here things from drawers
And the beeping from the open car door pierced my composure
So she drove away and found a place to stay
She wasn’t scared anymore

So I went to the station and purchased my round-trip ticket
And got on the bus talking to her with a sick feeling of spirit
On the first stop, I receive a call, “they found me”
I turn back around, never more let down, and all I could do was weep

And with that everything surfaced that I feared
Everything that she seemed to make disappear
I rang out my eyes from my loss
The lifetime achievement that I once held, torn away, now tossed

She said, “despite everything, I hope you’ve been smiling a lot
don’t worry too much
We’ll always be here for each other.
I love you”

And it was as if my harness had loosened its’ knots
I was free to begin this plunge of my law
I took the letter I wrote back to you and tried to make a song
But it wasn’t music and it wouldn’t allow itself to be anything but raw

And now I’m so scared to be alone by myself
I’m sitting here on the bed that was to be yours
Inside the room, that too, was to be yours
This perpetual state of emptiness creates a dangerous tension

And now this story has reached a brand new peak
Of optimism and self-mutilation

credits

from Listening For A Heartbeat EP, released January 19, 2017

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about

The Trying Cincinnati, Ohio

The Trying is a solo music project from Chris Kaetzel. I blend sounds from a wide array of genres and influences to create a unique sound to encapsulate a myriad of emotions and topics. My lyrics are always genuine, no matter the content, and that is a major driving force behind The Trying. ... more

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