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Stone Tape Theory

by The Trying

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1.
I'm Infected 02:54
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Verse 1 how do I fix all these things? should I just cut all these heart strings? I thought home was all I wanted But it's my past that's haunted Webs are woven inside my chest Drown me in distress My freedom confines myself In pursuit of some notion of wealth Chorus I've sacrificed the wrong things And acquired this void of feelings My world and my soul, disconnected Growing older and sicker, i'm still infected Verse 2 I've been sick, but so strong Just trying to prolong These clouds are my catalyst The death of an idealist Every day's almost an overdose Ignoring demons and ghosts While they destroy my worth While they cast my curse Verse 3 There's no more assurance That I'm going to win Diagnosis abhorrent See my soul wince There's no more assurance There's no more assurance There's no more assurance There's no way to win
2.
Scabies 03:26
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Chorus Fuck you! Get out from Underneath My skin Verse 1 Shut your mouth! Let me speak! Don't ask a question If you don't want to hear the answer You're a child Plugging their ears I'm a child Holding back tears Bridge I'm a fool But you're a bad person This abuse Is because you're hurting Overruled But only because I'm your servant Verse 2-A Shut your mouth! You're clueless! Your insecurity Won't allow you to listen You're a child With irrational fears I'm a child Plugging my ears Verse 2-B If I ever see you again I will fucking end you Take you to the ground Crush you beneath my shoe And watch you bleed Verse 3 This is me This is who I keep Locked deep down One day, it will come out One day, it'll ruin everything Verse 4 (breakdown) This is my weakness This is my bleakness This is my weakness This is my bleakness Scabies!
3.
Dreams and Romance 05:06
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The mirror's getting uglier I have to stomach what I see A wretched reminder Of who I've devolved to be I keep my dreams to myself There's no point in sharing I don't want you to see this heartfelt Promise I'll be breaking These breezes of memories Collide with my heartstrings Composing a destructive masterpiece Until all my will has gone extinct A barrage of failures and hurricanes Pummel the beaches of my soul The horizon looks black from disdain Yet burns me one hundred fold The tide is rising higher and higher The engulfing of my past, a constant reminder A lifetime of hoping things would work out Has drifted away look where I am now Through dwelling, i'm swelling My dreams are compelling But wasted on nothing I wouldn't believe in me either My past is romantic Can you hear the joy, the screams? My present mind is dramatic Cause I'm haunted by my dreams heart stays fixated on the past eyes gaze forward to what's yet to pass What I wouldn't do to escape this fear Anything to get away from here I'm just so tired I'm going to lay down And maybe find a state to drown out all of these sounds I am wasted potential Lack the credentials To take my place amongst the influential Keep my goals confidential My shame is essential The sting of failure is exponential I'm flaky, I cancel, Hurt more with each candle My efforts I find are insubstantial It's all consequential, I sulk and I tremble I'm wasted potential, I'm wasted potential
4.
Eighteen 05:20
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Like a trapped spirit, my past haunts me When we were weak, when we were free Creeping through the window just so we Could share our lives and share our dreams These memories Will die hard My broken envy Leaves myself scarred This fixation This fire I feel This elation It's not real I loved and hated the havoc that was wreaked Hearts on our sleeves that we stole just like thieves Unlearning the rules we carved into the trees Learning who we wanted to be We were so green but nothing pristine Falling apart together until we had to restart Each moment piling up like omens But all of those hours were cherished, were ours These memories Will die hard My broken envy Leaves myself scarred This fixation This fire I feel This elation It's not real I was so relieved to get out But it hurts so bad without Whatever drove me away back then I forget, I just want to be back in
5.
This Is How I Destroy Myself 04:52
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I feel it taking over So sweet, so warm Before the hangover Complete, transform I feel it surging Through my veins Numbing the thoughts, the pain I grab a bottle Oh here we go Let's go full throttle It's what I know What else would I be doing? This is how I forget that I don't have enough time Does she know that my vision is doubling? Does she know that I just want to pass out? Does she know that the way that I'm falling....is this far down? I bet she does I'm not fooling anyone If I don't self-destruct What will I salvage? repeat I found it I found it It takes my Worry away Waste time Freak out Drown it All down Lose time I don't care As long as It's there When it's gone I remember who I'm not Sabotage! This is how I destroy myself I found it I found it It takes my Worry away Waste time Freak out Drown it All down Lose time I don't care As long as It's there When it's gone I remember who I'm not What have I done? What will I keep doing? This is how I destroyed myself
6.
I Am Not Responsible 04:35
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Chorus I am not responsible for your emotions I am terrified of what we’re approaching Verse 1 Most days I don’t think of you It’s only when I dream of you When I awake The shame and guilt But I’m afraid of you Destroying what I’ve built Chorus Verse 2 A hastily scribbled note I’m ready to see you And in the moment, I meant it I was going to see you The high wore off I didn’t want to I called the prison One single attempt Verse 3 I’m sorry I knew you Would be So mad So disappointed Then I finally read your letters Threats of self-harm Then I finally read your letters Threats of self-harm Threats of killing yourself Threats of killing yourself Threats of killing yourself Threats of killing yourself Verse 4 Who is this guy? Is he really doing this? I let him down He’s been gone my entire life He’s lost his mind I will not feel guilt I won’t feel bad You don’t deserve that Chorus Verse 5 He left you You don’t owe him anything He made a mistake You should support him Chorus
7.
Horeshores and Bootstraps 02:22
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What the fuck? You think this is a game? Probably because you're not the one losing Instead of your actions leaving you ashamed You just ignore everyone you are abusing Keep turning a blind eye to those disadvantaged Don't give a fuck about the planet that you live on Reactionary bullshit when your ideas are challenged I wonder who you'll blame when all your security is gone You say you don't hate but you're a hypocrite There is no such thing as being neutral And fuck your horseshoes and bootstrap bullshit My side is not the same as theirs; that's crucial! Tricked into fighting against your own interest Buying into the way that they divide us Act innocent and pretend to be a centrist You say that you're patriotic but you're treasonous Corrupt! Unjust! A con man, a liar, a predator A madman, womanizer, conspirator Sham! Scam! A child, an idiot, narcissist Reviled, illiterate, larcenous
8.
Rot 05:05
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Verse 1 I can spare no time Got too much to kill Think about why I'm Going so downhill So fixated on My yesterdays Looking for a new dawn To keep my old ways My life is a journey With so many paths Constantly guiding me Straight into its wrath I want my old pain Want to feel again But I can't abstain I don't know - I don't know how to live for today I am stuck in the past I don't know - I don't know how to live for today No hope tomorrow Nothing to look forward to - nothing to look forward to Just have another drink Nothing to look forward to - nothing to look forward to No fire left burning It's the same every day Black tomorrow Covet yesterday There's no meanwhile Just lost time There's no meanwhile Just lost time Chorus Here we go again Another failed attempt To say something of value To feel something true Verse 2 Look at you How could you Do this? You Who are you? That mirror Is getting Unbearable, isn't it? What have you done with our talents? Absolutely nothing What are you doing about it? Now you're stuck We used to be a friend - We used to be a friend Now you're fucking selfish Do you remember when that was all that mattered? Now how do you treat your loved ones? Drinking, eating, working, sleeping, just surviving Where did our future go? I can't believe that our worst fear is now here Where did our future go? It's the same every day Black tomorrow Covet yesterday There's no meanwhile Just lost time There's no meanwhile Just lost time Chorus Here we go again Another failed attempt To say something of value To feel something true Verse 3 I cannot see this heart break any more you have to lift us up from the floor Remember who you are Say your name What does it mean? It's not a game Today's the day You've gotta change your ways But every time I try it just gets snuffed There's this rot inside me stuffed deep down Growing everyday/Rot
9.
Realmless 04:06
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That's a doubtful look on your soul rightfully (rightfully) rightfully so changes are always temporary weakness will always prevail help me Help me, for I cannot see past my reflection anymore pick apart sort out my heart this fog this drought dirty stagnant deadlocked static scratch and claw and tear and gnash and burn my whole world down to ash scratch and claw and tear and gnash and burn my whole world down to ash scratch and claw and tear and gnash and burn my whole world down to ash scratch and claw and tear and gnash and burn my whole world down to ash cut and slice without a doubt - the endorphins rushing out cut and slice without a doubt - the endorphins rushing out cut and slice without a doubt - the endorphins rushing out cut and slice without a doubt - the endorphins rushing out nothing helps nothing left it just goes on and on no apex, no lull I have become realmless it just goes on and on no apex, no lull I have become realmless
10.
Pitiful 04:32
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Verse 1 I wish I wasn't so embarrassed What a burden on display I wish you weren't so careless I'm so ashamed to feel this way I wish I didn't feel the need To keep you sequestered To shield you from this bad seed To keep you sheltered Chorus I don't want you to know how How awful the world really is I don't want you to know how How filthy I truly am Verse 2 I wish I could rid you of pity Then maybe I wouldn't feel it too All this guilt makes me dizzy And pushes me away from you There's no need for this shame I wish you wanted you to learn I hope this misses where it's aimed And remains before the point of no return
11.
Massive Mistake 05:23
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Verse 1 What a massive mistake As it becomes larger It becomes lesser A shameful departure The weeds have overgrown Complete dilapidation Butterflies have returned to their cocoons The worst kind of self examination Bridge As soon as I realized My value was no more I knew I didn't deserve it Couldn't express it anymore Verse 2 Burn off my fingerprints Pull out all my teeth Drain me of my blood No way to identify me Bigger and bigger Yet smaller and smaller As soon as I saw myself I lost all I had fought for Bridge Chorus All the paint was washed from my face The colors all faded to grey The movements homogenized That part of me stolen away Verse 3 Not allowed to express yourself You're undesirable Don't pretend you're not repulsive Indistinguishable Bridge 2x Chorus Breakdown Fat fucking sexless waste Chorus
12.
Good Night Fits 03:47
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Intro Please don't be mad at me There was everything I could've done Verse 1 Anxiety asphyxiation It would be so much easier to be brave The world is so bright it causes dilation So bright that I think I'll dig my own grave Chorus Cowardice For no reason Please don't be mad at me I'm so sorry The regrets So stupid How could anyone tolerate Such a mess? Intro 2 I'm shaking as I fall asleep Remembering everything Verse 2 My rest is delayed as my walls decay I'm pacing while laying, I'm shaking Flashbacks of stupidity and shame A life full of bad decision making Chorus Cowardice For no reason Please don't be mad at me I'm so sorry The regrets So stupid How could anyone tolerate Such a mess? Intro 3 I know how all of this ends I am just waiting for the heart attack
13.
Temporary 06:25
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Verse 1 I'm ready to go There was so much potential But over and over it fades away I'm sorry to everyone But I just couldn't beat it And I'm just so tired all the time Shame and sadness This tightness in my chest I can't even drink it away anymore Bridge There's no catharsis I'm just catatonic Lately the only hope Comes from these deadly thoughts Chorus I could've had the world, and I did But there wasn't enough There would never be enough Focused! For awhile Driven! For awhile Disciplined! For awhile Approaching failure! Always Verse 2 When I feel the pressure I just put my focus elsewhere When I feel the pressure It's going fucking nowhere I erupt from sleep I thrash and scream The only release I have are these dreams And this pain has haunted me all this time All along Now I can't breathe a word It's fine, because they're all absurd I erupt from sleep I thrash and scream The only release I have are these dreams Bridge There's no catharsis I'm just catatonic Lately the only hope Comes from these deadly thoughts Chorus I could've had the world, and I did But there wasn't enough There would never be enough Focused! For awhile Driven! For awhile Disciplined! For awhile Approaching failure! Always Verse 3 I miss who I was but I always hated myself There's no meaning There's no meaning There's no purpose, there's no reason, there's no fight There's no way that I'm making it out alive Making it out alive Your pain and my pain are just temporary Your pain and my pain are just temporary I'm bleeding out again I'm bleeding out again I'm sorry to everyone I'm sorry for what I've done I'm sorry for giving up But it's all too much Chorus I could've had the world, and I did But there wasn't enough There would never be enough Focused! For awhile Driven! For awhile Disciplined! For awhile Approaching failure! Always
14.
Far Away 04:37
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I've been wanting to write this song for eight years This is for the part of me that will never move on Not from her, or her, but from me ~ That passion, that youth, that fire I feel it like a past life and I've lost my essence So long distant and then a doppleganger's attempted murder But I could tell the difference ~ And as I spoke with my kindred spirit my fervor grew I left with my brothers, despite the sincerest objection Without a real plan we made it work ~ So many friends received my constant streaming Three days passed and my tattered heart was all I had to show for it And when I returned back home, I knew I had to try again ~ Where did that part of me go? Chorus There's no heavier burden I carry than that of the Weight of the potential I used to have Forever would not color us red It all would be over soon There was your voice There was your courage ~~~ It was time again to come to you "They found me" It was time again to come home ~~~ Life had never been more surreal I just wanted to end it all Some things never change ~~~ But when I saw all of you I remembered what I hadn't lost Despite what had been torn and tossend Chorus There's no heavier burden I carry than that of the Weight of the potential I used to have Verse 3 And each day became a battle and at times I couldn't be left alone Driving alone those nights ~ Starting that fire But I had a new heart and an old heart And I fell in love in the least romantic way possible ~ Our crutches, our poisons But that night it got too heavy for me And I left when I shouldn't have And I'm sorry ~ You are the realest thing I've ever known We had to quit Everything, all of it had to pass ~ But there's nothing that I want more Than to have that summer back

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released October 20, 2018

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The Trying Cincinnati, Ohio

The Trying is a solo music project from Chris Kaetzel. I blend sounds from a wide array of genres and influences to create a unique sound to encapsulate a myriad of emotions and topics. My lyrics are always genuine, no matter the content, and that is a major driving force behind The Trying. ... more

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