We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

I Refuse

from Capitalism Is Sexy by The Trying

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

lyrics

Trees climb me while watering my wings weighed down with carbon
I'm drowning a bucket with the bass of life before you kick it
Thump
Thump
Thump
Listen to the submarine rev
Elation!
Wherein lays her lies infinitely as an infant
It's all in your head
It's all in your head
It's sawing your head
It's all in your lead
Bang Bang!
Semi-automatic fun
Shooting holes in my lungs so I can breath underwater
So I can swim to my death bed in disguise
These guys are raping my androgyny

Telling me what to be when all I want to be is to be me
Made-up mirrors reflecting your disgust
A catalyst for your construct constructed only for the purpose to deconstruct a function
Tear it up
Tear it down to the ground in the shape of a frown
But I'm smiling
It doesn't matter if it's genuine
Because you're not seeing it anyway
Your eyelids that you painted black and white can't see it anyway

Because while you were pushing kids down
on the play ground,
I was dressing up and singing into a tiny plastic microphone
attached to a cassette recorder
And I wrote songs about monsters and love and about brothers
I never had because I wanted a male to love but never had one
Paternal eclipses shadow eternal ellipses
showing me what's in store
But this liquor store has been robbed at phallus pointing right into her mouth
And from there all of it went south

So while you were wrestling with your dad in the backyard I was wondering when mine would get out of jail
And while you were playing football with the neighborhood boys I was already confused
as to why I had no preference for the sexuality I was experiencing with the boys, with the boys, with the boys, and the girls

I am not rejecting all of your masculinity
I just refuse to accept it
The status quo has got to go
A status quo designed around your genital status, ignoring generations of quoted wise people from every apparatus

Stop raping my androgyny
My mind is open but that doesn't mean you can dump your shit into it
Pump
Pump
Pump
Cock
Cock
Cock

And I have dreams of things you make me ashamed of
But I just yearn for the actions, not the person my dreams always seem to remember
Dismember body parts of incestuous revulsion and desire until we can pretend it doesn't exist
And before this, I was taught by who I suspect was a rape victim
What the fuck is wrong with my house?

I am not sexually confused, only amused
And you can keep raping my androgyny, my identity, but you will not leave a bruise
You will not camouflage this rouge

I'm standing in a restaurant - bathroom
checking my make up - and the door swings open so I immediately wash my hands because I'm afraid for them to see me liking me in the way I like being seen
Can you see me?
Do you see me?
Will you see me?
What will you see when you see?

I stand before you as a weak, but growing incarnation of that which our elders reject and attempt to protect while the Pink Lady screams, "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
That's right!
That which is right is worth undergoing plight
because although the world is dark and filled with the pseudo-righteous, we can see the light
It is not the light you see
It's on a different frequency
It permeates those who seek to be free of a toxic culture

I am only hazardous to an insecure immune system
Abused systems that are
inherently discriminant of identities
created by the reflections of that very system
which systematically breaks us down and
tell us how we must live in order to be free
How we must live in order to see
a world that appears secure yet we walk on pins and needles allowing that which is feeble to stab the bottoms of our feet

Stop pretending this is divine when it's all assembly line
I'm not bending natural law, only a theory
Don't show your teeth when all I want is something healthy
This isn't about me
This is about all of us
So please don't show your teeth
Don't make them worth busting our of your head
I just want freedom
I just want love
Where you see chaos I see stopped loss
Please don't show your teeth
They're going to fall out if your braces are loosened
For all of our own good, please don't show your teeth

credits

from Capitalism Is Sexy, released January 16, 2012

license

tags

about

The Trying Cincinnati, Ohio

The Trying is a solo music project from Chris Kaetzel. I blend sounds from a wide array of genres and influences to create a unique sound to encapsulate a myriad of emotions and topics. My lyrics are always genuine, no matter the content, and that is a major driving force behind The Trying. ... more

contact / help

Contact The Trying

Streaming and
Download help

Report this track or account

If you like The Trying, you may also like: